You can ask questions, or you can judge. But you can’t do both. You have to choose.
I previously suggested asking questions about what your team will do, instead of telling them what to do (see: Ask, Don’t tell). But some people find it difficult to get team members to explain their views in a manner that is clear for the all to see. I’m often asked “How do you come up with the right questions?”
The secret is simple: it has nothing to do with the questions. It has all to do with what you expect to find, and what you want to do with the answer.
Think about it. If somebody asks you questions for the purpose of judging your answers, you can feel it. And you’ll be guarded. On the other hand, if they are only interested in what you think …
Think “treasure hunt”. Start with: Whatever answer I get, it will be OK. The only goal is to help them bring their views out clearly, in the open, for all to understand. Their answer is the treasure – but it’s hidden. The job is to bring it to light.
If you do not intend to judge, but only to discover, your questions will naturally occur to make this happen.
So you must decide: are you on a treasure hunt, or are you judging their answers?
Note that it cannot be faked. You can pretend to be inquisitive, but if you are judging, it will out. Your true purpose will slip through:
From the coaching file:
Mgr: “How do we know that an engineer has developed a good test procedure?”
Lead: “He knows the requirements, he’s familiar with the requirements, and then knowing them, he makes sure that the test covers all the aspects of the requirement, and the results to be produced are clearly stated.”
Mgr: “But what you explained here is purely theoretical. You say, a good engineer knows the requirements – how do you know when you assign the work to someone that the work will be done that way?”
Lead: taken aback – is fumbling his words: “How do I know it will be done that way?”
… …
Coach: speaking to team leader: how did you feel when he said “what you said is purely theoretical?”Lead: “that I don’t know what I’m doing!”
Coach: “And why did you seem confused about the question?”
Lead: “I don’t know, it’s like something clicked off in my mind, I could not think straight.”
The sad part is that the manager had asked a very good question – but the judgment proffered destroyed it.
I must emphasize: the skill is not how to ask questions. The skill is how to truly focus on the treasure hunt – a discovery – and stay away from judging.
That is a simple decision – But it can be difficult, if you are like this other Team Leader:
From the coaching file:
How am I supposed to use this method, if I already know that the person is wrong? How can I make him see that he is wrong?
You can’t. It is a two step process:
- First, focus on clarifying the answer, with no hint of judgment. Discover their view.
- Then, when the answer is crystal clear and possibly written on a whiteboard for all to see, and only then, can you share your views about its correctness, sparking a discussion.
After all, even people are incorrect, you would still need to understand their position before discuss were they are wrong. But they will not share her thoughts openly, if they feel that the “questioning” is about judging them.
So don’t worry about what questions to ask. Just stay away from judging. Of course, it’s not always easy, if you are a manager with schedules to meet and budgets to keep. Not judging, actually takes practice.
